When this client first came to me, her voice trembled as she said, “I feel like he barely even notices me anymore. No matter what I do, it’s like I don’t exist to him”.
That wasn’t just a passing thought. It was the emotional undercurrent of her every day.
She felt completely ignored, invisible and unimportant. She was stuck in a painful loop - hoping he’d change, only to feel disappointed when he didn’t show up the way she needed.
Before she found me, she had tried everything she thought she was “supposed” to do.
Just like so many of my clients, she was told self-concept was the key to manifesting a specific person. So she stood in front of her mirror every morning repeating, “I am beautiful” as if trying to convince herself of something she didn't believe. But instead of drawing her specific person closer, she felt him pulling even further away. It was confusing. She was doing the work - but nothing was working. And worst of all, she blamed herself for it.
And when nothing worked... she'd try even harder...
She'd send that perfectly crafted text, hoping her specific person would finally respond differently. She'd post things on social media just to get his attention. Only to check her phone endlessly and feel the sinking ache of being ignored again. Not only did it not work... it left her exhausted, defeated, and questioning if she’d ever be enough for him.
I told her the truth: You don’t manifest someone’s love and devotion by trying harder to get their attention.
You manifest it by shifting the way you see yourself. And not through positive thinking or repeating cute affirmations, but by unraveling the deeper beliefs that silently scream "you're not chosen, you're not good enough, you're not lovable".
So instead of focusing on what he was doing or how he wasn't showing up for her, we completely shifted her focus inward. She stopped focusing on him entirely. Instead we focused on uncovering the exact subconscious beliefs keeping her stuck in the same cycle of being ignored.
Beliefs like: "He’s so handsome and successful... why would he want me?”
That one hidden story was silently shaping her entire reality.
It wasn't just something she was thinking every day... this story was shaped by her subconscious beliefs. Together, we rewired her subconscious. We dissolved the pedestal she’d placed him on. She stopped seeing him as the prize and started seeing herself as the magnetic, irresistible woman she truly was. The kind of woman who doesn’t chase love, but naturally attracts it.
And then... everything changed.
For the first time, she felt peace within herself. Not because her specific person started showing up differently. But because she no longer needed him to change in order to feel good.
And the moment she stopped needing his validation? He started blowing up her phone. He began texting her more frequently.
He wanted to spend more and more time with her. He was planning real dates with her and expressing a genuine desire to be around her. He made it very clear he didn’t want to lose her.
That’s what happens when you stop trying to earn love - and start becoming the version of you who simply expects it.
