The Roadmap Out of Feeling Unworthy and Not Feeling Good Enough (+ Actionable Steps You Can Take Today)
Let's talk self-worth today, because your self-worth impacts all areas of your life and feeling worthy is important. Self-worth is how much you value yourself and it’s a deep inner feeling and knowing that you're innately valuable, worthy and lovable. When we know our value and we know we are worthy and deserving, no matter what, life gets a little easier.
The most common way people measure their self-worth is by their appearance, how much money they have, their life achievements, and their social status and career. Basing one’s self-worth on external factors that can change in a moment is unhealthy.
A Roadmap Out of Unworthiness and Not Feeling Good Enough
There are many methods on how to increase your self-worth and start feeling good enough, but most of these are based on shallow things. Even when doing a Google search on how to increase self-worth and how to let go of the feeling of unworthiness you will find dozens of blog posts and articles on the topic. The issue with most of them, however, is that they only touch the surface when recommending things like take better care of yourself, think positive, hang around with people that make you happy, find your passion and tell yourself affirmations every day. These are all great suggestions and they do come from a loving place, and while they do indeed help make you feel better, they are unfortunately often short lived.
My Story Out of Feeling Worthless
I know what it's like to not feel worthy, thinking there's something wrong with you and not having self-esteem or confidence. I grew up in a very abusive home where I was constantly yelled at by my own dad how I would never amount to anything and how he never wanted a daughter. On top of this I was bullied in school. and so during my childhood many scarcity beliefs were ingrained in me, and I developed a very negative mindset and had no self-worth.
At 14 years old I decided that I had enough. So I stuffed my small backpack with as many clothes I could fit into it and I left my childhood home. I haven't been back since. These feelings of being unloved, unworthy and undeserving still haunted me years later. My low self-worth and negative mindset made me abuse and harm my body in several ways and I was hanging out in pretty toxic environments, that included alcohol and drugs every weekend, binge eating and thereafter dieting. My body was in constant fight or flight mode and I had uncontrollable anger problems and would get really easily agitated. My body was signalling me to change my lifestyle. I was battling with one health condition after another.
In my early twenties I decided that I had enough and that’s when I started on my spiritual growth journey. I started reading dozens of self-development books and I realized the power of the subconscious mind. It was only when I reprogrammed my subconscious mind that magic started happening and things really shifted for me in a short period of time.
The Three Steps to Boost Your Self-Worth
The feeling of being unworthy is so deeply rooted in us that it's unconsciously impacting all areas of our lives. It's like a tape recorder that keeps playing the same cassette on repeat, and because of this unconscious belief our mind seeks ways to feed and reinforce this belief over and over again in our reality - until we change the cassette and change the beliefs.
These are the three steps you can take today to boost your self-worth. Remember that change does not happen overnight. Consistency is key here. Make a commitment to yourself to do them every day for at least one month in order to notice a positive improvement in how you feel.
Pay Attention to Your Mind
Become aware of your mind and pay attention to what your mind is telling you on a daily basis. Your mind can be your own worst critic, always judging you and letting you down - or it can be your best cheerleader, always there to support you and cheer you on. It all starts with just becoming conscious of your daily thought patterns. What kind of self-talk do you have? Are you saying kind things to yourself or only nasty things? Do you notice your progress and your own achievements? Do you say loving things to yourself and treat your body with respect and love? Would you be friends with someone who constantly spoke to you in the same way you speak to yourself? For how long would you like to hang around with that kind of person?
Challenge the beliefs you hold about yourself.Now that you have become conscious of your daily thoughts, it's time to get clarity on your beliefs. Ask yourself: someone that has those kinds of thoughts like you, what must they believe about themselves? Write them all down on paper - make a list, and challenge them. Ask yourself: is this ultimately true?
Is it ultimately true that I never amount to anything?
Is it ultimately true that I don’t deserve to be happy?
Is it ultimately true that I am stupid?
Of course not! Write LIE next to all of the beliefs you wrote down (it’s fun!)
Choose new and more empowering beliefs.Decide what you want to believe now instead and start looking for evidence that these are true. Just like we look for evidence in our external world to reinforce our internal beliefs, we can start looking for evidence that our beliefs are not true.